Run on

What is this?

I’m still trying to figure that out.

Is there even a right word for it.

Maybe I’m just over analyzing everything.

Maybe I’m wrong and I didn’t pay attention to the fine print.

I’m holding on to nothing. How is that even possible.

I’m running on a tangent. There’s no substance in my rant.

I’m cluster fucked, but I’m not trapped. I see the end but why do I like to wallow in the darkness.

I say I’m alone but I never really was. Now more then ever, having absolutely nothing I can truthfully declare I am alone.

I’m traveling life solo.

Why?

Whats wrong with me?

Whether its all or partial I have everything. Why do I still feel unhappy?

Am I just telling myself that to keep a certain mindset. OR am I really unhappy?

What is happy?

I surround myself with awesomeness and keep busy with things that make me occupied. But do these things really help avoid depression?

How long have I been like this?

Have I always been this pessimistic?

Have I always ruined things that were nothing but wonderful in my life?

I love hard and I love carelessly. I am but myself and I am a selfish person yet the things I find myself doing are selfless.

I care way to much for something I don’t even have.

Or have I always had it and now I just don’t want whatever this is anymore?

Help 😦

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