expectations gone wild.

Expectation is wonderful since it creates value and standards. Then again its such a downer only because once you expect and the outcome isn’t favorable, the let down is greater than the value you originally created. Fickle the human brains’ nerves and senses work. We expect to keep us on check but what happens when the expectation ruins us?

Through trial and error you would think you have your priorities down. To make better choices you must make the mistakes, even when it feels like everything and anything is a mistake you make. This is when you set standards based on what you know and experienced. Without experiences we can’t grow and without growing up we will stay stagnant.

When your expectations pull the rug from under you, you are not only left on your ass but while you sit there you wonder what step did you miss to be at the bottom. You begin to over think as you play the blame game and then you decide a pity party is in order as hate and embarrassment cater you to your downfall.  I’ve come to realize depression is a never ending cycle that is pretty addicting at the same time. You can suppress the sadness, but with triggers and thoughts that we call memories its kind of hard to go full cold turkey.

Most of people say don’t expect, only fear the feeling of not going anywhere. These most people also say don’t expect because your pretty much asking for a 50/50 chance of happiness or a complete meltdown. Its a risk we are willing to take right? Without the risks we won’t know for sure what we really want in our lives.

Certain people stay for a reason and others are just passing though. Its really on ourselves with who we allow to be the lucky individuals we really let in. We are open to different routes and endeavors yet we decide where we end and where we continue. That’s when moral support comes in handy which again is a value we create because being human, redundancy is almost like a defect.

When the idea of promises are thrown around, expectations feed off it. Its their fuel for insanity when expectation falters. We create promises based on assurance. Its almost like a warranty where our heart and mind say this is the contract do you agree or not? The funny thing about promises it that I want to say 98% of the time we make them up as we go through the encounters of life. Many promises are made to swear by something. Some are made out of spite. And for the most part promises are little vows we agreed to our one and only self.

We find comfort in certainty. It gives us that temporary security to keep us sane for the mean time until something more knocks us off our high horse. We appreciate our self worth so much that we make expectations to set the bar for our idea of greatness. Only we know when enough is enough, but when we fiend for a particular standard the come down is always brutal. So hand in hand misleading assumptions and what to expect when you least expect it can be a whirl wind of ups and downs.

That’s the beauty of having expectations. They make you, yet break you into a million tiny shards of ridiculousness.