It starts off as good intentions. It feels good. Almost liberating, then the detachment occurs. It’s there, but you ignore it and keep trying to pry what occurred minutes before. That moment has pasted only lasting a shorter amount of time than the last.
Because of hope you may never fully appreciate what you have put yourself through. There is a brighter end of the tunnel or greener pastures depending on what type of person you are, but if you knowingly do the thing you swore up and down that you wouldn’t, just be aware you have that scheduled sparing practice date with your mind and heart.
You tell yourself, you have made breakthroughs or life changing choices for adjustment, but what seems like months has only been a few days. Your sense of perspective has changed due to the continuous addiction you think you have gotten over. And through oblivion you think the numb would save you, but its so played out that being in a lull is like hitting the snooze button. Its old. Just get up already.