The amount of self I have put has no influence and out of convenience I allow myself to be mesmerized by bullshit you call words. Words only my heart is attracted to. The spell replays in my head over and over yet, after the high I am left with no satisfaction.  No sense of reassurance and/or confidence. Whatever you are doing, its working. Its working in your favor and I am your consort of the moment for release.

The scary and very disappointing part of all this, is that this has become a routine now. I’ve gotten used to the abuse. Physically I’m ok of course, but mentally and emotionally I am running out of quarters to feed the meter. How could one with the sense of feels continue on with this daily workout? It’s one thing to have a rush of endorphins, but the wrong kind releases uncontrollable emotions of doubt and self pity. No one should have to “deal” with anything especially if one is holding on to something that isn’t there and isn’t real.

Is lack of common sense a nicer way of saying one is stupid?