09-02-15.

How do you say goodbye to so many wasted years?

The answer is you can’t.

You can throw away the box. the trinkets and receipts of moments you’ve saved. You can change everything. Your hotline number and even blocking everything you can think of, but you will never say good bye to the memories and all the sentimental build up you have created just for him. It’s not in your will to remove all this. Well not completely. The only thing holding on is you. And that’s ok. It’s normal. At least you are capable of being strong for something. It may not be for the right thing anymore, but you’ve shown your true colors by enduring this day after day. Month after month and year after year.

Believe it or not, you do get an award for this. Obviously not him – which was the goal, but the reward of being able to be a listener and an opinion say-er to someone else in this enormously populated world who is feeling or on the right track of feeling just the way you have been. I’m not calling you Captain Save-A-Hoe, I am calling you that notification people need to hear from every once in a while. Asked for or not.

Your loss is someone else’s gain and that’s as selfless as one can openly own up to and not even realize it. You are going to hear that everything will be fine and that you are better off and whatnot. Which is most definitely true, but what you and I both know is that you are going to stick around because of hope.

Side note: I’m starting to think hope is imaginary but that’s just me.

So back to my original question.

How do you say goodbye to so many wasted years?

You don’t.

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